


Random ramblings

by Afrokot



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-30
Updated: 2013-08-02
Packaged: 2017-12-21 22:26:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/905669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Afrokot/pseuds/Afrokot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drabbles. Just random dialogues. With the boxes. Yeah.</p><p>"What's it like to live with voices in your head? Hellish, I would imagine."<br/>"I'm never bored."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> [White boxes: Hello!]  
> {Yellow boxes: Hiii!!!}  
> 'My inner voice.'  
> "And this is my not-inner voice! I'm speaking out loud! So, are we clear, guys?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'In this chapter the boxes CAN'T HEAR ME!'  
> {Isn't it cruel?}  
> [Nah, just annoying.]

'Swanlike dive. No. Swanlike drive? No... Swan Lake Drive? Hm... Must be it!'

{What's that?}

[What's what?]

{That, right there!}

[What right where?]

'Um... Guys? What're you talking about?'

{Oh! Do you think it hears us?}

[I told you! We are in its head. It should be able to hear us.]

{What? Seriously? In its head?! Does it mean we are like tiny dwarves with tiny mining tools - hammers and whatnot - who come with hangover? I'm so excited! I want a hammer of my own!}

[They use pickaxes, and no, we are voices. Voices don't have hands to wield hammers or pickaxes. Or anything else, for that matter. We are just voices in its head.]

{Oh. Now I'm sad.}

'Eh, guys! You're being rude, you know! Stop talking about me like I'm not even here!'

{It speaks! Isn't it? Oh, does it mean it's alive?}

[Um. It should be. At least, I think so.]

'Hey! Stop with the "it" crap! I can hear you just fine!'

[...Otherwise, how can we be in its head if it's dead?]

{It's alive! ALIVE!!!}

'It's so not funny. Argh!'

* "And here I blew my brains out. Yeah, talk about random acts of violence, why wouldn't ya, crazy ficwriter?" *


	2. Two

"No! Don't do this! A-a-a!!!"

[Are you OK, Wade?]

{Yeah, what's with the wailing?}

"Maria just told Luis Alberto she lost their baby! Whuaaa!!!"

[Um. I thought she wasn't pregnant anymore?]

{No, she wasn't! See, she has her hot bod back in shape!}

"No! She just lost their little Juan Carlos! Like I lost my sock the other month, but then found it under the bed last week, all moldy and bhlea. Anyway, weren't you watching?"

[I was trying _really_ hard not to.]

{I was looking at her boobies!}

[Oh, yeah! That. He-he.]

"Urgh! You have no soul!"

[Of course not.]

{We are imaginary voices in your head, silly! *giggling*}

[Just your friendly neighbor Personality Disorder, Wade.]

"Ok-ok, soulless squatters! …Then again, Maria does have spectacular boobies."

[Anyway, how did she lost their child?]

{Yeah! How does anyone can loose their brat? Readers might want to know!}

"She left Juan Carlos on the street in his adorable pram when she went shopping."

[What?! Is she stupid?]

{Are you sure she hadn't just forgotten where she left him?}

"No, no. She thinks the baby was stolen!"

{Ah.}

[She totally deserved that.]

"Eh, who cares. She was away like only for two minutes, and someone stole her brat. Who does that?! I mean seriously, who needs someone else's offspring? Unless it's for ransom, or to take revenge, or to sell him, or harvest organs, or…"

[Yes, yes, we got the idea.]

"Oh! And now Luis Alberto is going to break up with her? What is he thinking? OW, MAN, NO! You can't, you, self-righteous prick! _What are you doing?!"_

*BANG! BANG! BANG!*

"…Crap. Now I have to buy new TV."

{Again!}

[No more mexican soap operas for you, Wade.]

{Yeah! No more soap! Wait!.. Does it mean 'no more boobies' for us??}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Like _you_ don't watch bad TV shows."  
>  [They might watch only good TV shows.]  
> {Like anything with Bea Arthur in it!}  
> "You think?"  
> [Nah, too unrealistic.]


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Your daily dose of meaningless chatter delivered by Deadpool!"  
> {And the boxes!}  
> [Bon Appétit.]

{Hey, White!}

[Yes, Yellow?]

{I wanna be Blue!}

[I agree, being Blue would be wonderful.]

*boxes suddenly change their colors to blue*

[*sings* _I'm sexy and I know it!_ ]

{*sings as well* _Tat-ta-da-da, tat-ta-da-da!_ }

"What? What's happening to me? Am I dying at long last? I need a doctor! Somebody call an ambulance! My life's flashing before my eyes… Man, I was _so_ _awesome_! Light is going out! It's all… rather blue."

[Wade, you are _not_ dying.]

"I'm not?"

[No.]

{Relax, dude! Our writer just saw too many M&M's commercials.}

[You would too if you'd bothered to replace your TV by now.]

"Damn! And here I was hoping to get some one-on-one actions with my Lady."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Hey, we are still talking!"  
> {About the Most Important Things in the World!}  
> [Like Nicholas Fury?]  
> "Eh…"  
> {He is _pretty_ important, isn’t he?}  
>  "You know, I wouldn’t call ol’ Nicky pretty…"  
> [No, of course not.]  
> {You’d just blurt it out _in his face!_ }  
> "Ah, you know me so well! It’s like you are _in my head_ or something. Anyway, I’ll think about it."

"Hm… I wonder how often Fury hears lame jokes with his name?"

{Does it make him furious?}

[I think he finds it infuriating!]

"Oh, I bet he does, furiously!"

{He does! Absolutely!}

[Certainly.]

{Totally!}

[Utterly.]

{Completely!}

[Definitely.]

{Entirely!}

[Fully.]

"Unequivocally!"

{…}

[…]

"What? I thought we were playing _'find a synonym'_ , no?"

[Yes, and you just won.]

"Whoo-hoo!!! Go me!"

{Congratulations, dude!}


End file.
